Ambitious People Don't Talk About Their Fears — Maybe They Should

Hector: I think fear is an important emotion. I think it's an integral emotion to achieving anything worth a damn. ⁓ I think that you know, Kobe Bryant himself said it best. He was always nervous as hell pulling up to the court, but he knows it's those nerves of that that fear that drives him to step up and show up. So like we've t in our last podcast we talked about show up. Well, you know, showing up is half the battle. And we're on a mission to prove that Consistency is key in this business. But also, you know, when you get there and you show up, you're gonna be overcome by fear of actually performing and being in front of others and doing that craft or performing that skill or doing that thing that you do. And that's when you got to show up. but fear is in every situation. And I I think most people are fearful about everything that they do to some degree. And if you're not. Maybe you're not challenging yourself enough. I agree. I will say that in the world that we live in, and especially in the professional world, I have noticed that ambitious people like ourselves, we tend not to talk about fear. We talk more about our goals and our dreams and our aspirations. Lack thereof. And lack yeah. I I think that we are Sorry. Yeah. Don't forget the leg. You gotta hold on to the leg. Yeah, of course. Yeah. I think that we are as ambitious people and positive people, and I think we've talked about this in multiple episodes. How positive we are in one episode, how ambitious we are in the other episode. I think that we tend to not talk about the bad or the f the fear. or the thing that we're running away from as much as the things that we love or the things that we are running towards. And I think that that might be a thing that is the same for many ambitious people. Sure. They rather talk about the positive and the good stuff and what's coming. But they don't really mention like, I am deadly afraid of switching careers. Or I am deadly afraid of starting my own business or I am deadly afraid of people seeing my content or my creation and not enjoying it. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. That ⁓ very well said. I think I think everyone needs to be aware of the things that they fear more often. to your point, I think that people don't acknowledge their fears often enough and it kind of goes ⁓ it's it's it's presented behaviorally by sort of some con subconscious ⁓ acts in a person's day-to-day lives, like we've talked about. ⁓ you know, procrastination or ⁓ what's the other one you mentioned? ⁓ over pre like ⁓ perfectionism, yeah, ego. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, those are just coping mechanisms for things that you probably are avoiding f because of fear. I think that that's the word. It's avoidance. I think f you avoid in encountering or going head on with the thing that you fear the most. And so it you come up with th things that you think are realistic and you paint them as walls in your way to achieving what you want. But it's because that wall protects you from going eye to eye with that fear of yours, which is for example, we've talked about this before. We both have taken entry exams into law school for the LSAT and you've taken the MCAT for medical school. Yep. and for me, it took me a very long time to start prepping and actually doing the practice exams and going to the actual like test centers. Yeah. Because I I thought I would tell myself, ⁓ I'm not ready to take it yet. And I kept saying that to myself, I'm not ready to take it yet, I'm not ready to take it yet. But ultimately, I now that I'm older, you know, and now that we're talking about this topic in general, I'm thinking to myself, I'm like, okay, maybe I just was afraid that I would score less than everybody around me who's taking the L set or my pre-law fraternity brothers who were taking it with me. Imagine I just I come out of there and I get like a 150 and everybody got like a 162, 16 they can all get into law school and I can't. And everybody's like, but gosh, you've always been so smart. Right. And that's the identity. And that's that's it's you're so pretty. How did you get a how did you get a one fifty? Oof. That day. That day at the that day at the office. yeah, I think the the biggest fears that people encounter, other than like obviously like snakes and shit. I think the biggest fears are the fears that we impose we impose on ourselves and that go against the identity that we have already created about ourselves. So like I told you before, I'm I think I am a decent basketball player. I think I'm a good basketball player. If I ever encounter a situation in the basketball court that makes me feel like I'm not That goes directly against an identity that I've built since I started playing basketball when I was five years old. Since I was five, I thought I was good at basketball. Imagine I am almost 30 now. ⁓ no, I'm like I'm 29 now. So 24 years of me reinforcing myself and just completely ignoring any anything that has ever happened to me that puts me against that identity, but really remembering all the good moments I've had on the basketball court to reinforce it. What it's a thing. What what do you think you fear the most? Because that's that's one of mine. ⁓ it's ⁓ it's a good point because I we I've talked about this a lot as far as like developing children, you know, understanding how you impose your beliefs about their personalities and their identity onto them. Like I think there's a very delicate balance that you have to strike. I'm not a parent or anything, obviously, but I, you know, I I feared that growing up I was told I was smart. And I was reinforced that often and reminded of the fact, hey, you're sm you're a smart guy. You know, you're you know, you're a smart guy, you're a smart guy. And, you know, I told myself, ⁓ I'm a smart guy, so I don't want other people to think of me as not smart. And so I feared ever being exposed as somebody that wasn't you know, capable of knowing something or, you know, w was had a shortcoming in my knowledge about something that may be pretty common. And so, you know, I'd be more quiet in situations where I maybe could have been more vocal about the fact that I was curious about it and didn't know enough about it and wanted to know more about it. Like I think that ⁓ that balance of trying to understand what your beliefs are about somebody else's identity, especially if you know for for children. In their development years, but also understanding those beliefs about yourself is incredibly important to strike because you never want to have that identity that limits you from actually going above that sense of, you know, achievement. Does that make that sense? Because that fear is gonna drive you to never go outside of what that identity imposes on you. Right. And who knows what's on the other side of that? Yeah. Right. It's crazy. So, you know, I think I think growing up, that was a big one for me. It was like, hey, you know, you're a smart guy, do what smart people do. And it's like, what do smart trade? You get straight A's, you go you're good at school, you do all these things. Yeah, sure. We did that. But also like when you're in a room with smarter people or people that are generally smart, you know, you almost like you didn't want to be ousted by not being smart enough. And instead of doing the right thing, which would be You know, I'm j I'm in a room with smarter people than me. That's great. I can learn from these people. ⁓ instead you pretend like you know everything that's going on about everything in the world and you don't take that opportunity to learn from other people or you know, you don't maximize the value that could have been taken from that opportunity. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You can't yeah, if you act like you already know everything, you're not in the mindset of learning. Yep. Yep. And it took years to figure that out. ⁓ But that a big fear. And ⁓ you know, public speaking being ousted as a failure in public, right? I I sure I think I don't know what the statistic is, but I'm sure everybody has some some degree of fear of being, you know, not the the person that ⁓ that they naturally are. You know what I'm trying to say? Like you don't want to be ousted for being less than kind of the average at anything. And public speaking is one of those things. I think that's like one of the biggest fears that people can have. I have that fear, you know, you have that fear. And you know, us sitting down and having this conversation in front of a camera and in front of the audience of people that, you know, listen to us and support us is ⁓ an example of us trying to overcome that fear. So yeah, those are two things that that I fear a ton. That's awesome, man. Yeah. Preparing for this episode, I saw this quote that said. Our biggest fear is not that we're inadequate. Our biggest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. What are you talking about? I tell you that all the time. Yeah. Who says that? Who says that, Coach? I don't know. I from Coach Carter. Yeah, that's it. That's Coach Carter. The amazing movie. Is that yeah. It's it's legendary. I don't know who says it, but Coach Carter. Yeah, I remember that. That's ⁓ Teofimo or whatever his name is. Yeah, the guy the the guy the guy that yeah. Yeah, that's that's true. Listen, what I'm saying is ⁓ It just goes to show what perspective does to you as a person. Perspective about yourself and then perspective about others. There's been a couple of friends of ours that have told me that there's no two better people to start a podcast than us because of how good we both speak publicly. Isn't that funny? That you have. That is funny. Like people remember so. I had people tell me that they still remember my baccalaureate speech or your JROTC speech. Wow. Dude, we sat in front of a whole class, a whole school. Seven dozen people. Yes. And we delivered speeches in front of our definitely at the age of age sixteen. Think about that. Yeah, we didn't know we didn't know shit. Dude, we not only that, it's like we are talking about some of our biggest fears being public speaking, yet people know us as the public speakers. I gave I I I led the the entire Sigma meetings every two every Tuesday. I'll tell you, I'd be more nervous to have give that speech today than I was, I think, on that day. Even though I feel like I was pretty nervous. Does that make sense? Because you're there's something that as you grow older and you become more self aware. You know, also I think practice, right? Like I think I think we would be more nervous, but we would do better. Yeah. Yeah, I th yeah, of course. Of course absolutely. Yeah. I think you would crush it right now. Thank you. I think so too. I think you would as well. Yeah. You could probably still wear that uniform that you wore during that one. It's that thirty five regular or thirty thirty-four regular. ⁓ yeah, dude. I it thirty four short actually. Sure. Yeah. Very short. Thirty four thirty four very short VS. Yeah, I think I It it it's interesting to understand how sometimes our biggest fears are that we perceive in ourselves are the strengths that other perceive in ⁓ in in us. ⁓ wow, yeah, that's a that's a great point. You know what I mean? Like my my dad always thinks like ⁓ Gustavo, you're amazing at taking tests. You're the best test taker I've ever seen. To me, I feel like every, even the smallest pop quiz I would go into, I would be losing my mind. Nervous. Nervous. Again, but that that's literally to the point I mentioned earlier. It's like you people impose that identity, especially but you parents on children, of like, you're such a good test taker. And it's supposed to be a good thing. It's supposed to be an uplifting thing. We're like your your dad was telling you. Gosh, you're such a good test taker. And you're like, I am a good test taker. They go and you're like incredibly good. Right. But they have imposed that identity onto you. You know what's crazy? That could be a double edged sword. Of course. That's that's again that's my point. Yeah, that's the point. Yeah. So so because my dad thinks that I'm a good test taker and he put that in my head, you know what's funny? My dad saying it's a bad thing, but it's it it pro it provides a lot of anxiety and a lot of pressure. It brings a lot of pressure, but it also allows you to perform because you have to perform. You perform. Yeah, but but I'm not saying like I'm not saying everybody does. That's fair. You know? Yeah. Yeah. You have to show up. Yeah. Right. Yeah, I think so my dad there's two there's two things that my dad has done for since I was born that are very unique to this perspective because we're g Hopefully if you're if you're a parent now or you want to become a parent in your life, I think that this is something you should know. The first thing is my dad always put pride in our last name. I think I've told you this. You know, like, ⁓ you're a Velez. Velez don't do that. Or you're a Velez. We're strong. We we don't we don't shy down from anything. You're a Velez, you're a Velez. And so all these metaphors that he created around just one name, it's a name that I carry with myself all the time. I think that that's awesome. I think that I I will continue to do that with my kids. It's like No, you you take pride in this. Your great grandfather was a warrior and your and your grandpa was a Viking. A five-six Puerto Rican Viking. Yeah, yeah. and so that's one thing that I think it's very cool. But the other thing is that that aspect of like, no, you this is who you are. They would they would tell you before, because as kids, you let everything dictate who you are. And if your dad or your mom Aren't or or or your influential figure aren't telling you who you are, you might just fall into whatever society tells you you are. And so my dad, one thing he did, he told me that at the age of when I was old enough to take the IQ test, he took me to take the IQ test, and I scored in the genius bracket. My dad my dad claims that he has the receipts, they're all in his in his my dad, my dad has like seven seven file cabinets. I'm not gonna this is this is actually true. But that has seven file cabinets, God knows what's in there, but files and files of things that I've never seen, some I've seen and worry me. Of the king that had all of the millions and billions and trillions of pounds in gold in the safe. And ⁓ Daenerys, right? Yeah. ⁓ she opens the thing like Taught me a valuable lesson. But it's ⁓ same the same content. Same time. Yes. Okay, so you know what I'm saying. If my whole life I've been told I'm a genius or like I scored in the genius bracket if I'm you your deathbed and you're gonna get this note. That says your IQ was like I'm slightly autistic. 50th percentile or worse. Yeah. And ⁓ and then we'll know for sure that that is ⁓ that's such a powerful thing to be bestowed upon you is someone else's belief about your identity. Yes, dude. Especially an influential person like your father. Exactly. I think because it's him saying it to me and not nobody else first. And the second which you know what's funny? My dad is a lot of things, but a liar he's not. Never. And he will prove it with receipts. So I don't believe I don't think that he's lying. But the fact that he's used that as a as a as a selling point every time he's talking to me, it's like s as a kid, I realize I'm smart. Because my dad says I'm smart. And I'm smart and I'm smart and I'm smart. Eventually I realized that regardless of whether I was really smart or not. Thinking that I was was way more helpful than thinking that I wasn't. To have the battle. ⁓ That's what gets me to show up. And that's what gets me to perform. Even though, like you said before, it might come with a lot of pressure and anxiety as to not let that identity show that I'm not. Not to let the not to let my dad know I'm I I failed a test. Like I could never fail the test. Yeah. I was so scared to fail the test. I would get a C, even a B to him was like It was terrible. He's like, ⁓ why didn't you get an A? Right. Why didn't you get a hundred? ⁓ my mom. Why didn't you get it? I got a nine nine hundred. ⁓ yeah. ⁓ that's deep. There's a ⁓ there's a psychological thing about competency and performing in front of audiences. I can't think of the name, but basically your confidence in performing a particular skill, it's it can be amplified in front of an audience if it's like 80% or better in terms of just like your average competency at that skill. So for example, you saying that you know your dad always told you you were smart. Let's say you were on average, you were pretty smart or above average smart. And you're sat down in front of ⁓ an audience of people and you're asked general questions about intelligence or you know, different subjects. To demonstrate your intelligence. You start coming up like some big ass words. No, I mean you're gonna perform you're gonna perform well or slightly better than you normally would. Sure. But let's say you were told your whole life that you were a good pianist. You're good at piano. ⁓ thank God, you're not that we're gonna have to cut that one. You're a good you're a good piano player. But you know, you've all you've only practiced a couple times in your life. And you know, you find yourself like to be just average or below average, you show up in front of an audience, you're actually gonna perform worse at that particular skill. And that's kind of that phenomenon. I I I'll have to look it up and we'll put this on the newsletter when that's out. That's right. And ⁓ and I'll tell you what it's called and I'll I'll give you a link to the study. But ⁓ it's really cool to think about because it kind of goes in line with that point of that. ⁓ identity that's imposed upon us when we're young, we believe it because we have nothing else to believe but the people that we trust. And so we grow up believing we're smart or we're athletic or we're capable. And we go into the world and we actually have to demonstrate our skills in front of others. And, you know, we'll find out pretty quickly the things that we're good at and the things that we're really not good at that. And, you know, we develop our own sense of identity underneath that. But ⁓ that's just a phenomenon to be aware of and kind of along the storyline that you mentioned of your dad imposing that sense of intelligence upon you. Like if you really weren't that smart, which you are, you're a smart guy. If you really weren't that smart smart, you would have found out you know rather quickly. Twelve twelve grade US government and politics. Compared to politics, I would have been sinned that would say you're just Yeah. That's true. That's true. I I I agree. I think The one thing that I do think that w makes sense in in fear is being self aware enough to start peeling away the fear that doesn't make sense in your life and then keeping the one that does and using it as fuel. ⁓ Because there's fear that that just doesn't make sense. I think that for example, I was doing this podcast. I was very nervous. I still am. Yeah. I don't More nervous now, I think, than ⁓ Yeah. No, ⁓ for sure. Because before it was an abstract audience we were talking to. Now we're getting messages from people. And now it's like, ⁓ you guys are watching. Yeah. Oof. ⁓ we appreciate Yeah, of course. A hundred percent appreciate it so much. ⁓ But we like by the way, we don't we mostly go on like one take. Obviously we're not doing multiple takes of a podcast. And we're not doing that well either. But we're you know, we don't have a we don't have a we don't have a recording team or an editing team or anything. Like right now, Gus and I basically do everything ourselves throughout the week. And so whatever we sit down and record, like it's raw, unfiltered, unedited for the most part. And you know, that's what we get. So we sit down for an hour. We have a conversation about the topic at hand, the things that we prepared, and you know, that that's that's what you get. So it we're performing mostly live, if you think about it. So it's the the pressure kind of increases because when we sit down, we don't want to have to redo this or edit it or change it and add a lot more work. ⁓ so it's really like we have to sit down and do this in one good take. And that's a that's a thing that I personally fear. And we feared e you know, individually more. as we go on. But we're trying to I'm I'm certainly trying to manage that. Yeah. ⁓ yeah, sorry. Continue. Just while I was gonna yeah, that was good. I I think people should have a perspective on w what it what kind of perspective we have. Cause you know, everybody in social media and in the podcasts, every everything is polished. The whole world I think our whole world is becoming too polished. Like everything you see in people's lives is either through social media Or through content or through pictures or through videos. And there's a level of editing and managing ⁓ portrayal of of the best parts of, you know? Sure. And I think that we you and I starting out and then for the rest of this journey, which I hope lasts forever. Dude, we're have at the very least recording of one hundred episodes. ⁓ dude, yeah, I think I think we're doing yeah, a hundred episodes will be our we'll have an anniversary. We'll we'll wear our little hats and have our little blowy things. We'll wear suits. ⁓ I I'm down. Yeah, we'll wear six. I wasn't gonna wear a suit for the podcast, but we'll wear a suit. Yeah, dude, we'll wear a suit for the hundredth episode. You heard it here? Episode was it six? Episode six This is episode six. Yeah. On episode six, Hector will wear a suit on the episode one hundredth. We could have white hair and he's finally gonna have a beard. Yeah. ⁓ quick update on the podcast. we've made so many mistakes. ⁓ Like they've heard every every mistake they can imagine ⁓ with regards to audio quality, recording angles. I we literally, if you look at episode five, we had three cameras, and I think we talked about it in the episode, and we only posted one angle because the angles weren't very good and the camera quality wasn't great. But I ⁓ and even the main quality was the camera was set to the wrong function. I mean it's ⁓ there's so many things that go into it, but like I told Gus, each episode we make one or two mistakes and we write them down and we log the feedback from everybody that that reaches out to us and the people that that are really supporting us and care about the the thing that we're doing here. And we write it down so that we make sure we never make that mistake again. And so it goes back. Literally the number one episode that's played so far has been ⁓ starting before you're ready. That's bit like that, it's like five times better than the second ep best episode. And I'm wearing the suit. That's because you're wearing the suit. That's right. it's it's literally it proves that theory. It's like just do it. You're gonna make a mistake, log the mistake and iterate and do it again. And learn from the next mistake. But anyway, we're figuring it out. I think this one's gonna be one of our highest quality production shows so far on ⁓ I don't know if they ⁓ the audience must have noticed already that we are we have a different background today. Facing a different angle. It probably they can see the Kia Center. Is that cool? I don't think you can, dude. ⁓ whatever I don't think they can. ⁓ the point is, yeah. Sorry to no please please ⁓ back to fear. No, let's ⁓ I just I just want to say Hector's perspective on l on doing the podcast is you know, we'll we'll take notes along the way. And I kind of compare it to A pilot, right? And and the co pilot. We're we're flying this plane, we take off, we're going good. Out of nowhere I tell him, Hey, the landing gear's not working and Hector's like, Yeah, let's just we we'll we have a checklist. We'll get it right the next time. Yeah. And then so we'll we'll figure out how to land the plane now and then if if if there's an if there's next time then landing gear, very important. Now we know. ⁓ audio. Audio. We're still we're still figuring out audio quality. We have ⁓ We have a couple of mics that are called dynamic mics rather than condenser mics. Anyway, it's whole thing. Yeah. We'll have better mics on the next episode, which by the way, again, very exciting. we're gonna have our first guest very soon, Michael Dennis. Michael Dennis. DJ Dennis. but the same point of the episode of starting before you're ready, I think that's all driven by fear. And The fear of not performing at the best quality is gonna stop you from getting started in the first place. And if you don't just start and use that pressure of like you have people depending on you to do that thing, you're not gonna learn or run into the mistakes that you'll inherently run into when you're doing that thing. For us recording this podcast. How many times do you think I look at the switch that's on the camera, not knowing that it can accidentally switch from time to time from recording to aperture priority? Well, we know these things by realizing we recorded an entire hour long episode in aperture priority rather than 4K video. And so if you don't just get started, you'll never make that mistake and you'll never know. And the fear of making that mistake is what's stopping you from getting what's on the other side, which is feedback. Iteration, improvement, and retrial. Yeah. It's kinda like a scientific method. A hundred percent. Of fear, right? Yeah. And that's why that that thing just makes sense. You know what I mean? Sometimes a lot of people They have a question. Yes, please go for it, dude. I love it. ⁓ they have a question and they immediately come up with a nice hypothesis. They just have it all in their head. They're like, you know what would happen if this, this, this, and this, or if I were to able to do this, this and this. But when it when it's time to experiment, that's when people that's when you see the the steam come off a little bit. You know what I mean? Sure. And the problem with that is that to get a conclusion, to to get real valuable data, without an experiment, you're never gonna get it. You can hypothesize all you want. For sure. You can talk all you can talk all you want. Everybody's always yaving, you know, you know what I mean? I think I could I express more than you. All right. Let's throw it. Let's try it out. And then like, nah, yeah, we'll do it. We'll do it We'll do it one day. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So that's the scientific magnet in a in in a sense, applying the spear episode that we're going through, I think it's Without the experiment, without the trial. I mean, I think over preparation is something me and you both have been guilty of. Whole lives, dude. Our whole lives, yeah. ⁓ no, it's just because we like to prepare. We're overthinkers. We over prepare. That's what we tell ourselves to make to make it to make it all right. But could it be that we're just really scared as to us not getting the result we want? Yeah, sure. How could we not be as intelligent or good at public speakers as Maybe. ⁓ what I wanna highlight though is Kevin Hart says this before every show. If you've watched any one of his comedy specials, he literally does like behind the scenes of him talking with his crew, talking to his family, talking to his his people. And he always says, Everybody wanna be famous. Nobody wanna put the work. Everybody wanna be rich. Nobody wanna put the work in. And it's the same thing of setting up this hypothesis. To like I want to do X, but the Y is the most challenging part. And it requires consistency and showing up and putting yourself out there and being told that maybe you're not the best at that thing or getting the data results from the experiment that you know you might not want to see on paper. But it's so important for you to get that so that you can iterate and do it again and then do it again. And then do it again. And it's those people that eventually get to where they want to be or get the results that they're looking for and prove that theory or that question that they've had in their minds their entire time. Yeah. It's the callused, right? Like you callous your your brain and your f like your fear, the fear that you everything you feared, once you go through it twice or three times, you're like, ⁓ it's not that bad. Yep. Yep. You know, ⁓ they're gonna laugh at me? Yeah. Yeah. The first time the first time they're like, ⁓ my god. You know why this is me and you talk for some reason this comes up in almost every podcast. Stand up comedians. Maybe it's because slow key in another world, I feel like I would love to do that. That like that would be my career. It's a scary job though. It's it's the it's the most terrifying job to start. Like if you want to talk about like ⁓ failing for a long time until you make it, and the and the and the fact that only a few make it, like Everybody wants to be Dave Chappelle. Like no one not no you can't beat Dave Chappelle. Yeah, just staring at you. While you're while you're trying to tell jokes you've crafted it. Yeah. You've written down, you've exercised in front of the mirror. And it just doesn't hit that day. Yeah. And everybody's just absolutely quiet. And the fear of public speaking, the fear of failure, the feeling of the intelligence. Yeah. ⁓ All are happening at one time. Dude, and it's immediate feedback. Immediate feedback. ⁓ dude. Listen, this reminds me of that Spongebob episode where like Squibber's doing the whole performance and everybody's just like You talk about the one where he comes out and he he starts mopping and the crowd goes crazy. And then they pull him off stage. And then Squirrum comes back in and they're like the fact that we're referencing Spongebob just goes to shit. No, Spongebob really, dude, is like ⁓ there it needs to be studied the impact it's had on our brains and on everybody's brains. Like those people's riders had someone ⁓ for sure. Yeah, I think That just that just made it so funny how like yeah they kept booing skirward and clapping for Spongebob but Squirrord put his tentacle out and nobody yeah ⁓ my god this guy stinks this guy stinks but but ⁓ speaking about that I think there's something really large about a stand up comedian because actors they have to wait for the movie to release. B bomb the box the box offices. It's like a different game. Same thing with like ⁓ with like podcasters who can edit and edit and perfect until they get it right or or same thing. But like a stand-up comedian or like ⁓ a doctor or or or a lawyer in trial. There's certain there's certain things that a lot of you professionals are gonna go through in life that are immediate feedback. That must be a tougher failure than Like a down-the-line kind of failure. You know what I mean? Like ⁓ explain that in a different way. I think that. Seeing an audience not laugh in front of you is is worse than releasing a comedy movie and and realizing that no one liked it because it wasn't funny. Because you've moved on. Because by that point you've You know, you're you you already had your guaranteed pay. You're already working on it, you're already on payroll on something else. Plus there's the human to dude, I eye to eye contact. Yeah. It's one of the most Bro, that's rough. It's something that we go through every hour. It's also because it's so performative on in movies, like you can go and record it and you kinda like can forget about it. You know, it's like you're if we were recording this live, it'd be very different. You know, imagine we're recording live and we say joke too, dude. We look out and everyone's dead wise. They're on their phone, they're texting. ⁓ I just I just gotta use the bathroom. Yeah I'll be back. I'll be back. No but that's what I fear. That's what I fear. I figured that's ⁓ I'll be right back. I'll be right back, dude. That would be tough. ⁓ my gosh. No, I just gotta take the call. Jesus Christ, dude. That's that's that's why I think in in the world of of just careers, stand up comedians have to have the ⁓ the toughest yeah entry entry like barriers to entry than anybody else. point a lot because you know fears in everything. Right. So like kind of try to assess what role you have and what you fear the most about that role and how long it takes for you to get feedback of you know, whatever failure you might encounter in that role. And, you know, use that as either a motivation or to get a better understanding so that you can leverage that understanding to be better. So comedians, for example, let me let me try to say that in a different way. Comedians, for example, they know the feedback is instant. So like you say something and immediately like you know whether it was a hit or not. And so it's like you have to be so quick to either like switch the subject or take the the audience on another journey to try to get them back involved in whatever it is that you're doing. That's one extreme, right? Stand up. The other extreme is like I don't know, you're you're an accountant and you're for for like a branch, a sub branch of a branch that's a subsidiary of ⁓ national whatever. And so the report that you make today is gonna reach the manager of the manager of the regional manager of the regional manager to the director. Yeah, and this is like the office episode. Yeah, this is literally the office. And so, you know, that like that that lag is is gonna take a while. So like the fear that you have like I don't know, I I guess what I'm trying to say is like try to understand what it is that the the timeline of the fear and maybe that can help you kind of re evaluate like how you take that feedback and how you reassess your plan to be successful. on the next turn or the next run. Sure. Because if you're fearful if you're fearful of submitting that report and it's gonna take you, you know, three weeks to get it back, maybe you you know that you have that fear. If you have it wrong, like maybe you can prepare throughout those three weeks to iterate and have something ready so that that fear diminishes a bit psychologically. Same way that a stand up comedian will try to have a backstop if a if a joke doesn't hand doesn't land. ⁓ an exit. An exit. It's like all right, I gotta get it. I got a D V D ready ready for you guys. I'll be signed out of merchandise. Yeah, I th I agree. I think what do you think what do you think ambitious people like be the most? 'Cause I think ⁓ a lot of our audience they're all and I think it's just a blessing we have like as young professionals, right? We have ⁓ community of friends and family members who are either ambitious or they're they're already self-made. They're they've they've done whatever they had to do. I feel like ⁓ I've noticed that in the professional world at least, there's a certain ego that comes to people's careers and the more they grow, the bigger the ego is. I wonder if ego is also one of those like shields that you that you create for yourself to not against your fears. You know what I mean? Like like your ego you you use your ego as ⁓ as kind of like ⁓ a tool. And and I guess I'll get a little ⁓ yeah so and this is this is ⁓ this is something I haven't touched in the back of like I haven't touched this in my brain for a long time. Let's go all right. in high school And middle school, middle school and high school, I would say most mostly. Maybe even through college. Those of you who know me, you probably know what I'm talking about. I created this like alter ego of myself, like of someone who was just so confident, almost too confident. Like I would try to tell you who I was and what you should think of me before you even had a chance to know me. It was kind of like a And this is what I a defense. Yeah, that's the word. A defense mechanism. And that's what I was asking as far as like fear. Because I used this overconfident your identity onto others. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. Imagine you imagine me. Wow. Sorry, go ahead. Continue. Continue. I'll hold my thought. Go ahead. Imagine me just coming in as a junior or senior in high school and I had all these cousins and all these uncles who were already past their thirties, forties, fifties and they're just looking at me and I'm sitting there thinking, telling them already, like, ⁓ I'm I'm gonna be a president of the United States and I'm gonna be the richest man ever lived and I'm gonna write thirty books and I'm also gonna go into the NBA. And And then and then in my darkness. Exactly. Exactly. ⁓ I think that I used that ego as a what we talked about, the fear of not telling not not showing myself my real identity or being scared of knowing who I really was. but the second thing I think is it's probably what you're gonna get into as well, is like you Are scared of people judging you a certain way or thinking of you a certain way. It's much easier to just come in guns blazing, letting them know you you guys don't even have to use Exactly. Yeah. This is me. I'm the greatest to ever live. And I'm smart and I'm handsome. You're anchored. ⁓ That's funny. That's that's something that I've had to learn and I've had to I've had conversations with people from my past that have been very interesting, including some from middle school, including some with teachers who were like, ⁓ you were what you were a cocky one, weren't you? And I'm like crazy a teacher was DM you. That's crazy. ⁓ cocky little sexy I wonder That's ⁓ that's crazy. That's good. That's good stuff. That's good. Go ahead. That's good. ⁓ our sense of humor will be studied later on in some some of the episodes. Go ahead. I I think we've talked about it before of like at the time you're so confident because you don't know what you don't know. And ignorance is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. And so you run around thinking you know everything because you don't know everything that there is to know. Right. And until you do, then you'll realize you don't know anything. You know, five percent of anything. Right. but that's just ⁓ it's a c it's I thank you for sharing. That's yeah. That's tough. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. No, I mean say here, dude. I had I think I had you and I had a very similar story arch. ⁓ I think we're very easily driven by ego early on in life. And I think we both try to seek professionalism through like or just try to seek development through academics and knowledge and social status. Social status, personal development. For sure. And that awareness of like everything that there is out in the rest of the world made us realize that maybe we weren't we shouldn't always be as confident as we might come off initially. And you know, but I think there's some balance to that. I like I don't you know I don't I think that's a natural story arch for a lot of people to try to encounter because early on we're kind of sectioned off into these small social networks that is our s you know our community, our high school, our our bubble. And so we only have that sample size to choose from and a lot of times that's very centralized on similar ⁓ socioeconomics, ⁓ status. Usually it's like it's like school. Like right, like like you're like a big fish in a small pond. And then you go to like Florida. How you feel, yeah. Yeah, and then you go to Florida State like I did. And then you realize that ⁓ everybody here was top of their class. Or you work for a corporation and then you realize that like you know nationally the people that you're What people are competing against are just smarter, smarter, faster, better, you know, more intelligent. That's an ego. That awareness of what is the new norm gets dialed back while you redevelop, retrain yourself, re you know, reinforce the strengths and try to reinvent yourself so that you can no longer fear those ⁓ inadequacies that limited you previously. So I think You know, I think naturally you have this like story arch, you know, people that do value development and do value reinventing themselves throughout the course of their lives. I think that's a natural progression of like, maybe you're you you know, you become confident in this state that you're in because you're you know, you're really good based off of the sample size. And so you grow, you test yourself, you do bigger things, you do more things, and then you realize, okay, this is a different level, this is a different game. I need to I I fear that I'm gonna be inadequate with this new level. And so I need to reinvent myself. I need to strengthen my these skills. I need to be more mindful of these fears so that I can overcome them. And then you reinvent yourself and development. That's crazy. It's all it's all based on fear, for real. Yeah. And you know what I've noticed? Based on what as you were saying that, it just reminded me that a lot of like people we know who had very low ego or like h low self esteem back in like high school, middle school or whatever. Once they figured out a way to make it like something big, like out of themselves, I think I think that their ego like spiked. And I think that people who had like big egos in high school are are kind of like now they're like, ⁓ no, you know what I like, you know, it kinda like it's it's kinda like the shift of of cycles in in ego and in ⁓ And in way you in the the way you kinda like connect with the world as far as what you fear, what you don't fear. Interesting. And the I feel like the earlier you get it, the better. T to our audience, honestly, if if you you know, you guys are all I know you guys are professionals or in careers and and and living life. I th I think really being self aware and understanding w what scares you the most, if it's embarrassing yourself in front of people, if it's fail failing at a large at a large scale or if if it's not being good enough for something or somebody. Yeah what you think those those fears are? Yeah. Is it intel I I some what do you think are some of the main fears that people encounter? Intelligence like we talked about public speaking, maybe strength. Yeah yeah physical physical that's I think that's a huge one social status. Social status financial status. Yep yep Sorry, I just wanted to add to the those are all those are all good. Yeah, yeah. I think for men, I think and and this is just perspective of of a man, ⁓ social status is huge. I've seen men turn massive when they are the big guys in a in a room, and I've I've seen them curl up when it's ⁓ there's a bunch of big guys in the room. You know what I mean? Like I I've I've seen it personally. So I think social status is a huge one. physical appearance for anybody, I think ⁓ that's the hump that a lot of people have to get over. ⁓ intelligence. The clock keeps turning. The clock keeps turning, yeah. I agree. I mean, ⁓ some of some people can be George Clooney, but ⁓ most people are are gonna, you know, you gotta you gotta just find your strengths in every period of your life. And ⁓ yeah, you'll be sixty or seventy one day. but you can't be fearing the same things you were fearing when you were thirty, twenty or thirty. And I think they don't. I think like My dad's wanted to talk about his his biggest fears back in the day, losing an election. That that's a huge one too, right? Like I was thinking about it the other day. It's like what? Like like that's immediate response right there. because you have to literally campaign with people telling you, yeah, yeah, I got you. You got my vote. Yeah, you have my vote, yeah, yeah. They vote the your free pen. Yeah, they vote the other way. I think that's the point is like, like you said, you have to be more self-aware of that fear. Like, literally write it down, write it down on a board. And once you understand that fear, do that exact same thing that you feel is one of the biggest fears that you have in your life. Like find a way to do it more consistently. If it's public speaking, create content. If it's financial, maybe like subsidize your time with something that is very high risk. high risk. Stop sports start ⁓ the sports gambling. No, I mean like cut it off. Like maybe if if You see what I'm trying to say though? It's like find yeah the find the exact opposite of what it is that you fear and just go do it. Yeah. Expose yourself. Expose yourself. Expose exposure theory. Yeah. Yeah, I agree with that. I agree with that. I think ultimately, guys, this episode is supposed to be about the things that we all fear the most. And as we've talked, the more we talk, the more things came up. Because I think this is my one. Yeah. Yeah, I think we both we both realize that we fear more more things than we think. than we probably put ourselves to believe. And I think it's because it's easier for us to think of the things that we're good at on a daily basis than it is to every day wake up and be like, okay, what do I fear the most? You know what I mean? What is the ⁓ to finish this off? Yeah. What is the quote quote that we always say of that the guy on the office? ⁓ yeah. embarrass yourself? Go why don't you want to go out and dance? Go for it. Go go yeah, go out there and dance. You never know what's on the other side of Of you going up and dancing. That's right. Yeah, embarrass yourself. Embarrassment is an underexplored emotion. That's right. So go out and dance. Yep. And ⁓ see what's on the other side of the side. That's right. I love that man. That was good. That's a good that's a good way to land the plane, man. Hell yeah. Even though we didn't take on the landing gear. We didn't take off properly. No, ⁓ we we appreciate everybody who who supports us and ⁓ stays tuned and and and understands what we're going here, what we're doing here. And ⁓ soon soon enough, man, we'll we'll we'll definitely we're gonna have our guests coming soon. And we're gonna we're we're gonna keep bringing content that that I feel like we we both want to talk about. Some some of it will be more technical. Some of it will be just philosophical, exploring our brains and our minds. And ⁓ we'll we'll go from there, yeah. Keep telling us what we're doing wrong. Keep telling us what you want to see more of. Engage. Like let's build a community of Things that we want to talk about. And you know, if you're interested in being part of the podcast, let's sit down and talk about the thing that interests you the most. And, you know, let's all learn something together. That's the whole point. Let's have a good time doing it. So that's right. So it's all like that. That's all it's all about, man. That's one of the biggest fears that we gotta get over. That criticism. At first you're like, I hate criticiz I hate constructive criticism, but that's what that's one of the best things that we can ask for. That's the one thing we can ask for is please. Tell us what we're doing wrong. Tell us what we're doing right. Keep supporting, keep watching the podcast. And if you guys want to be part of this community, we'll love to have you and ⁓ we hope to have a lot more more content for you guys ⁓ in the future. ⁓ yeah. Cool man. Let's do it.